You know you’re in love when you don’t have to talk yourself into it or explain to your friends his goofy smile, or why he looks like a dork in a picture.
Why is it that we talk ourselves into things…whether it’s a new dress or a boyfriend? It’s the new style, great designer and on SALE, but we hem & haw in the dressing room. Does it look good on me? Do I look fat? Do I have the confidence to pull this off? Where will I wear it…on a date, out to lunch with the girls, an art opening? We ask everyone’s opinion in the store if it’s flattering and ask for suggestions on what to wear it with. In and out of the dressing room we go. No…I don’t think I can step out of my comfort zone like this. It’s likely to hang in my closet with the tags on forever. Take it off, put it back on. Take a picture and text it to your best friend to get her input. Maybe she’ll say it’s fantastic, you look skinny and MUST get it. It is 40% off, and looks so cute on the stars in US Magazine, and it’s Diane von Furstenburg. I really do need to update my style, but it’s SO not me. Do I buy it, or not?! It could make the perfect outfit for the upcoming event that I haven’t been invited to…but what if that event never happens? Then where do I wear it without looking like I’m trying too hard? Can I actually wear it and feel comfortable wearing it, or will everyone be able to tell that I feel like I’m playing dress up? But then again, I might change my mind once I get home and someone else will have gotten it by then, and the bargain will be gone forever.
We act the same way about men. We talk ourselves into them also. You may like the guy you’re dating, but start to notice his quirks and idiosyncrasies sooner than you “think” you should. Next thing you know, you’re picking apart how he looks in pictures and the fact that his boxers are so threadbare that you can see through them. Not to his face of course, that would be rude and inconsiderate. But in your head the thoughts come and go like the tide. He is a nice guy, he treats you well, and you do enjoy hanging out with him. But shouldn’t you be proud of your “love”, and want to share all the great qualities about him to your best friend rather than everything that bugs you about him? We’re not perfect, so why do we insist our men must be, or that we shouldn’t notice the “frog” qualities until much later into the relationship? Are we being picky? Does this tell us that he isn’t the “one” and we should continue our search until everything is as we think it “should” be? Or are we just being bitches and need to shut up and focus on the positive?
What happens when you start dating someone and you’re kind of into them? They have potential. You’ve stopped dating others because you think he might just be the “one”. We’ve all been burned enough to know better than to jump feet first without feeling a bit cautious first. But for some reason, you feel really cautious, especially when others ask if you’re dating anyone. It just comes out without thinking, “just this guy Bob, but I’m still looking”. Is that true caution, the fact that you’re letting on to others that your relationship is less than it is, or is that your subconscious talking, telling you to move on? When you’re with him, things are great, comfortable and you’re attracted to each other. However when you don’t see or talk to each other for a day or two, you don’t find yourself missing him or longing to talk or be with him. Is that healthy? Maybe that’s what love is and what we should all strive for rather than the pining away we do when we’re infatuated. Clearly, I’ve had a lot of experience with men and infatuation, but have never been in love…until now.
Posted by Hailey (“The Romantic”)